Archive | Relationships RSS feed for this section

So Close, But Oh So Far

4 Apr

A friend loves to text me jokes. Here are some of my favorites:

  • What did the silly woman say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? “Oh look … Donut seeds!”
  • How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.
  • Why do seagulls live near the sea? If they lived near they bay, they’d be bagels.

Cindy Martin, a certified personality trainer, writer and speaker, made me laugh with a short post she wrote for The Christian Pulse called “The Trouble with Texting.” Cindy gave me permission to share it here on LOL with God.  I hope you LOL too.

My husband had just transferred to a new company and his new position required several hours of online training and certifications. It also required him being out of town more than he had before. Desiring to be intentional about our relationship, I knew we’d have to find ways to stay connected so physical distance did not also become emotional distance.

True to my multi-tasking nature, I asked my daughter to type the words I dictated to her into my phone as I drove her TeenTextingto school. “Hey Baby, I’m so proud of you…. thank you for how hard you work for our family…. love you……”

Later that day, I spoke with my husband on the phone and asked him if he’d gotten my text. When he said “no,” I sent it again, but it still didn’t go through. I’d been having some trouble with my phone so I took it in and sure enough, there was a problem. They replaced the SIM card, said it would take about an hour to recalibrate and then everything should be fine.

Right on cue my phone started, “buzz, buzz, ding, ding, beeping” as a flood of texts, messages and notifications announced their arrival – albeit delayed. I was scrolling through to see if anything still required my attention and just what I had missed during this temporary cyber hi-jacking. Nothing urgent surfaced and I was ready to soothe any anxious thoughts when my eyes glanced at a text that I assumed was from my husband. It read, “Hi, I’ve received two messages that are obviously meant for someone else, but it isn’t me. Best check your number baby!”

Gasp, gasp, ugh! “Are you serious? How did this happen?!?” Upon investigation I found out that my daughter had manually typed in my husband’s number rather than using my contact list or our existing text trail. In doing so, she was one digit out in the prefix she dialed.

So close, but oh so far.

It reminds me of the verse in scripture, “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me” (Mark 7:6b NIV). This incident will serve as a reminder to me to be diligent in properly communicating and directing my love … especially to the Lover of my soul.

Often times, I don’t even know how to properly communicate or direct my love. I feel it inside but fail to express it on the outside. Or I get caught up in the daily demands that claw for our attention and don’t notice the slippage in my own heart towards those who need to feel my love the most. It’s at those times that I ask God to turn my heart more fully, first to Him, and then to those I desire to love deeply.

Going back to the Source of love fills my emotional tanks so I can give out the abundance He pours into my heart.

PRAYER: Lord, help me to love those I say I love with my actions and not just my words. May they feel my love for them in my tone of voice, my response to their needs and the priority I put on our time spent together. Lord, may that also be true of my relationship with You.

CindyMartinCindy Martin and her husband of 23 years live with their two special needs children near Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

She is passionate about people experiencing the difference Jesus desires to make in their everyday lives. This passion finds expression in her speaking, writing and teaching. Visit her site, Life Meets Reality, for more information.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

A Grandparent’s Joys

27 Mar

One of my favorite quotes about grandmothers is this: “Grandmas are moms with lost of frosting.”

Comedian Bill Cosby had a way of making grandparent relationships come alive. I’ve always loved this story he told about his children’s grandmother (see photo).

BillCosbyOnGrandmothers

I was blessed to have two wonderful grandmas … not at all alike, and each providing me with sweet memories and a storehouse of wisdom. But that doesn’t mean I know everything about being a grammy.

I have two “grandmother” gift books I like to read occasionally, just to keep realistic expectations and to remind myself what a “good grandmother” looks like.

Some of the gems I read in The Joy of Grandparenting include:

  • The good news is that grandchildren keep you young. The bad news is that afterwards you “feel your age.” Grandchildren help keep you flexible – in more ways than one!
  • Childhood memories of how Grandma’s house smelled and looked never leave you.KissingGrandma
  • All grandparents have a license to be silly. Grandchildren are your passport to a world of fun and adventure.
  • Show your grandchildren that you can grow older without acting “old” – age gracefully.
  • Don’t be afraid to show your affection for each other when your grandchildren are around.
  • Share the joy of reading with your grandchildren – as often as possible. Introduce your grandchild to the books you treasured as a child.
  • Grandchildren love hearing your “When I was your age” stories – the first time.

In Grandmothers Are Special, I smile when I read about others’ thoughts and opinions on grandparenting:

  • Louisa May Alcott: “A house needs a grandma in it.”
  • Clara Ortega: “Grandmas mustn’t take sides – but there’s nothing to stop them winking!”
  • A grandmother named Pat: “You know, I think I really was meant to be a grandmother. It was mothering that confused me for all those years.”
  • Jewish proverb: “One of life’s greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn’t good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.”
  • Joan McIntosh: “They say genes skip generations. Maybe that’s why grandparents find their grandchildren so likeable!”
  • Susan Strasberg: “I loved [my grandparents'] home. Everything smelled older, worn but safe; the food aroma had baked itself into the furniture.

My favorite is by humorist Erma Bombeck: “Grandmothers have three major objectives: keep billfold pictures current, buy whatever their grandchildren are selling,  and give impractical gifts that parents have forbidden them to have.”

Yes, these are fun and inspiring comments, but then I turn to the Book of all Books, the Bible, and soak in God’s rich wisdom.

Psalm 128:6a  says, “May you live to see your children’s children….” There was a time I just wanted to live long enough to see my grandchildren; but the older I get, the more I want to stay strong so I can “yield fruit” in my old age (Psalm 92:14). I want to see those HugForGrandmagrandchildren grow up, get launched from their parents, and start homes of their own.

I want to see great-grandchildren!

Because I love my grandchildren, I love to give them gifts (and Proverbs 13:22 suggests that a wise  grandparent “leaves an inheritance” to grandchildren); but the greatest gift we can leave them is to pass on a godly heritage (Deuteronomy 4:9; 2 Timothy 1:5).

Psalm 145:4 explains the responsibility of one generation teaching another about God. We certainly can live out authentic faith in front of our grandchildren, but we also need to be intentional in speaking up and pointing our grandchildren to the Creator who sent Jesus to redeem them and give them eternal life.

Sharon Hoffman encouraged me in grandparenting when she wrote,* “You are a valuable representative of the God who created you. Being a grandmom is a crucial role in His kingdom. You are a child of the most High God. When God created you, He also designed a specific purpose for you alone to accomplish at this particular place and time in history. Even if your grandchildren have two or more grandmothers in addition to you, God longs for you to be a representative of His love to the children that He has place in your life.”

Proverbs 17:6a says, “Children’s children are a crown to the aged….” Yes, grandchildren distinguish us. They are our crowning glory, our pride and joy. I love my “Grammy crown.”

* Sharon Hoffman, A Car Seat in My Convertible? Giving Your Grandkids the Spiritual Ride of Their Lives, New Hope Publishers, Birmingham, AL, 1008), p. 26

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Stop ‘Trying’

30 Dec

I love these simply awful answering machine messages:

  • “Hello, I’m not here right now. In fact, I’m out getting a new parakeet. If you leave a message after the beep, I’ll be sure to get back to you. Oh, and by the way, a word of advice:  Never try to clean a parakeet cage with a AnsweringMachinevacuum cleaner.”
  • “I’m sorry, but you have reached an imaginary number. Please imagine a real number and try again.”
  • “Hello there. I’m not answering the phone right now, because I’m trying to avoid someone. Leave a message… and if I don’t call back, it was you.”
  • “Hi! I’m sorry, but I’m trying to break the record for the ‘most calls missed.’ If it’s an emergency or your dying or something, please hold on until the record is broken and I’ll call you back.”

Did you catch all those “try” phrases? I’ve been thinking a lot about that word, and I have a completely different perspective on New Year’s resolutions this year. It begins with an attitude adjustment. Let me explain…

Teaching little children new things is a study in encouragement. We coax them to do new thing by saying, “Just try it.” I think of the old Life cereal commercial:  Three brothers at breakfast, and two decide to shove a bowl of cereal toward the third brother (the youngest), prodding him to “try it.” Little Mikey ends up loving the cereal.  (I tried something similar with one of my sons with little success. He still hates broccoli, I think.)

We encourage kids to try new foods … try new hobbies … try new sports. It’s what kids do. They “try” things.

But when we’re more mature, we realize success in life takes more than just “trying” a lot of things. In the secular world we see the foolishness of “try” in the Star Wars movie. Old Yoda said to Luke Skywalker ~ “Do or do not. There is no try.” Try is hard to measure, and sometimes it equals a lack of commitment. Think about it… when you say to someone, “I’ll try to ____(whatever)” … do you really mean it? If nothing else, you’re not showing much excitement about the prospect!

A few years ago, I cut out the word “overwhelmed” in my vocabulary. It colored how I thought about life. I couldn’t figure out a way to deal with “overwhelmed”? Today, I might say I’m “time challenged,” or there’s “too much on my plate right now.” I can do something about those problems. I can change my schedule, delegate or eliminate some things. It’s the same with the word “trying.” Instead of saying “I’ll try,” I now substitute the words “choose” or “plan” or “strategize.”

Instead of making a long list of resolutions this year, how about making just one … Resolve that you will obey God whenever He prompts you in any area of life. It takes off all the pressure to perform. It allows you to just rest day by day in God’s guidance and wisdom for your life.

Let me give you some examples of how that works.

Weight Loss – We say, “I’m going to try to lose weight.” Try? What does that look like? [Imagine the grunting and intense expressions.]  It sounds defeated before we even begin. It sounds like a hopeless cause with a happy face.

But what happens when we say, “I’m going to create some strategies to lose weight. I’m going to make choices that will enable me to slim down and get healthy.” That sounds like a plan and it’s measurable, right? We might write down what we eat, count calories or Weight Watcher points, change what we stock in our refrigerator and pantry, join a gym – all positive strategies. There’s some determination there as well as strategies to follow.

But then, take it all up a notch. After you’ve made the plan—and a plan is a good thing—you relax and say, “Lord, speak to me every day about this area of my life, and I will obey you in whatever you say.” At that point, you’ve gone from fruitless trying…  to making strategies … to resting in and responding to God! Doesn’t that make more sense and seem like reasonable effort?

This is true in any area of life.

Finances – We say, “I’m going to try to get out of debt.” We can try all day, but if we don’t have some solid strategies and the will to choose and change, we’re not going to get out of debt.

How much better to say, “I have a new financial plan that will help me get out of debt, and I’m going to make some tough-but-positive, intentional choices.” And we pray, “Lord, I need your help to follow wise financial counsel. Help me listen to your voice concerning the choices and purchases I make.”

How about Relationships – We say, “I’m going to try to get along with my nasty relative.” We can try all we want, but “trying” doesn’t have any teeth… any grit … any umph.

Instead, we say something like, “I’m going to learn how to practice the ‘one anothers’ of scripture with my friends and family… and I’m going to choose to obey God.” (You know the one anothers, don’t you? Love one another, encourage one another, forgive one another, serve one another … more than 20 one anothers to practice in our daily relationships. And each one is an intentional choice.)

Practicing those one anothers isn’t always easy, because feelings ~ “I deserve this” or “I don’t deserve this” ~ get in the way. So we pray, “Lord, help me to love others the way You do… Show me in every circumstance of life how to relate to my family and friends, and give me the courage to follow and obey You.”

There are plenty of areas in life where we can make intentional choices … but I’m going to list just one more.iscipline

Spiritual Growth – For the Christian, spiritual New Year’s resolutions always seem to be “biggies.” We say, “I’m going to try to read the whole Bible this year,” or “I’m going to try to pray more,” or “I’m going to try to memorize scripture.” There’s that word “try” again. And the truth is, all that trying won’t take us far … maybe into February.

How much better to …

  • Find a scripture reading plan to read through the Bible (or even one book of the Bible) and ask God for an accountability partner. Post a checklist of chapters read where at least one other person will see it … (not to brag, but to encourage us to read).
  • Create a prayer list for our computer (or somewhere we will really use it) and ask God to bring us things to pray about—maybe different people/topics each day.
  • Commit to memorizing four scriptures each month and ask God what to memorize because He knows what we will need to use in the days ahead.

In the Bible, Joshua was tired of the Israelites trying to live life their own way. He told the Israelites, “Choose you this day who you will serve” (Joshua 24:15). Joshua knew there comes a point when we must stop playing games ~ a moment we choose. Maturity seeks God daily for clear direction and makes wise, intentional plans and decisions.

Remember:  You can move from fruitless trying … to making new choices … to resting in and responding to God!

What is God saying to you about your choices for the New Year? Plan, choose, act, rest, obey… “There is no try.”

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

← Older Entries

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 292 other followers

%d bloggers like this: