“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”? I’m with Schultz. Absence makes my heart say, “Hurry home, Babe!”
My husband and I are often miles apart.
He’s in another state or somewhere around the world. I can’t tell you how many birthdays, Valentine’s Days and anniversaries we’ve spent apart since we were married 40 years ago.
But one thing’s for sure,
I’d rather be miles apart than “miles apart.”
I know so many couples who are miles apart spiritually, emotionally, socially, financially, physically. They’re under the same roof, but . . .
They’ve embraced different worldviews. They can’t agree. They don’t see eye to eye. Their hearts aren’t in the same place. They might not even share the same bed.
It’s so sad.
God made us all different, and He doesn’t want cloned spouses. But His plan is for couples to be “one.” Not only one in physical union, but together in the way they face the world, united in how they will bring up children, agreeing in how to use resources, etc.
Each partner might bring something unique into their union, but the goal is to be a stronger “one.”
My husband and I could not be more different in how we approach social events, how we disciplined the boys, how we spend or invest, how we worship. But together, our friendships, parenting, finances, and communion with God have grown. Our oneness is more beautiful than we ever were alone.
Humans struggle over unity (with anyone). We like our independence. But if God calls a couple to marriage, He also calls them to unity (Genesis 2:24-25), a reflection of the unity in the Godhead (John 17:11, 20-23).
God doesn’t want us to be “miles apart.”
Here are eight ways to promote more unity in your relationship:
- Pray together. Ask God to bless your relationship and create the “oneness” you desire.
- Seek God and imitate Christ. Remember, if you are both Christ-followers: the close each of you draws to the Lord, the closer you will be drawn toward each other.
- Study your spouse to understand his/her basic personality, temperament and gifts.
- Create undistracted time together to discuss mutual goals.
- Show genuine love to each other each day.
- Play together. Don’t make marriage just about dealing with all the “hard stuff.”
- Be honest. Discuss your and your spouse’s needs.
- Remember you are “one flesh.” Sometimes, plan for your partner’s sexual needs; other times, be spontaneous!
Are you “miles apart” from your spouse today? What can you do to shrink that distance and create more unity today?