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Do You Have Beautiful Feet?

8 Jul

Bare Feet and SandMy (Dawn’s) friend and former employer, Lamar Keener at the Christian Examiner, has such wit. I often laugh at his puns on Facebook. A few days ago, he decided it was “time for another round of pun fun.”

Lamar wrote on Facebook, “In a Podiatrist’s office: ‘Time wounds all heels.”

A man responded to his post, “Did you hear about why the podiatrist would not see the guy with a prosthetic leg? He was afraid the patient wouldn’t be able to foot the bill.”

Lamar then wrote, “Is that going to be the sole response?” And others wrote:

  • “I’m getting a kick out of these posts!”
  • “Won’t take much to spur me on. Of course, that’s just my obunion.”
  • “I know I’m being a little callus here. Some might even say corn-e.
  • “The over-arching purpose of this discussion seems to have caught me flat-footed.”

And a final comment:  “Is this ingroan humor?”

I’ve probably heard hundreds of complaints about feet ~ I don’t know too many people who like them. I’ve always thought, “If I didn’t have my feet, I’d miss them.” As I watch or hear stories about returning military heroes who’ve stepped on mines and lost their feet ~ sometimes entire legs ~ I am indeed grateful that I have both of mine.

As I get older, it’s harder to walk sometimes. We all get aches and pains in our feet, sometimes as a result of improperly fitting shoes, high heels, or just regular “use and abuse.”

In Southern California, some people pretty much wear sandals all year, but I’m beginning to see more and more feet these days as the weather warms. Most people think their feet are ugly. Women try to pretty them up with nail polish or even little “jewels.”

I’ve decided that my feet will never be beautiful … except perhaps Continue reading

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The ‘Stuff’ of Eternity

30 Apr

A woman’s husband died. He had $20,000 to his name.

After paying all the funeral expenses, she told her closest friend that there was no money left.

The friend asked, “How can that be? You told me he had $20,000 a few days before he died. How could you be broke?”

Grandma's Checkbook

Grandma's Checkbook

The widow replied, “Well, the funeral cost me $6,500. And of course, I had to make the obligatory donation to the church, pay the organist and all. That was $500, and I spent another $500 for the wake, the food and drinks, you know.

“The rest went for the memorial stone.”

The friend asked, “$12,500 for the memorial stone? Wow! How big was it?”

The widow replied with a smile:

                              “Three carats.” *

When I (Dawn) was a senior year in high school, I was a character actress with the “Hurrah Players”.

My favorite play was the wacky Kaufman and Hart comedy,  “You Can’t Take It with You,” a play about the choices we make in life. I played the part of the eccentric-but-happy former Russian Grand Duchess, Olga Katrina. About the only line I can remember is, “That manager. He doesn’t like me. He’s a Communist.”

But wise Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff had more memorable lines;  “Maybe it’ll stop you trying to be so desperate about making more money than you can ever use?,” he said. “You can’t take it with you, Mr. Kirby. So what good is it? As near as I can see, the only thing you can take with you is the love of your friends.”

Grandpa had it right. You can’t take money with you. You also can’t take your house or your prized possessions or your fancy wardrobe or your hobbies or …. you name it. As I’ve heard many times since I became a Christ-follower, “There are only two things that go into eternity… the Word of God and people.”

If we’re not careful about our focus, Continue reading

“You Be Jesus!

10 Apr

PancakeBoyKevin and Ryan, ages five and three, were waiting for breakfast one Saturday morning. As their mother was preparing some pancakes, the boys began to argue loudly over who would get the first one from the griddle.

Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

“If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'” she explained.

Kevin immediately turned to his younger brother and said, “Okay, Ryan. You be Jesus!” *

There are many stories on the Internet about “Jesus with Skin on.” Most are about acts of compassion done around the world in such a way that people got a clearer picture of the love of Christ.

But I (Dawn) got to thinking:  What would “Jesus with Skin on” ~ Jesus meeting relevant needs ~ look like to different people today?

  • To the person who is thirsty, Jesus in the now would look like the offer of a cup or bottle of cool, refreshing water … or maybe give money for a well in a third-world country.
  • To those who are spiritually thirsty, Jesus with skin on might be an invitation to your church so they’ll hear the Gospel, surrounded by people who care.
  • To the person who is starving, it might look like a simple sandwich offered in Jesus’ name, or taking them on a surprise visit to the grocery store.
  • To the person hungry for truth, it might be the gift of a Bible or a Bible study book that’s perfect for their age or stage in life.
  • To the person who is sick, it might be a cool cloth on the forehead, or a bowl of chicken noodle soup, or a short-but-encouraging visit or phone call, or an offer to run errands, or a simple “I’m thinking of you” card.
  • To a new mother, seriously lacking sleep, it might mean a visit to her home to rock her baby, bottle feed, and change diapers so she can snatch a power nap.
  • To a neighbor who is tense and out-of-control with her children, it might be the offer to take her children to a park for a few hours ~ to give her a break.
  • To a couple on the brink of financial disaster, it might mean a surprise check in the mail, or a bag of groceries at their front door.
  • To a woman “on overload” with too much to do, it might mean a simple offer ~ “What can I do to help? And I’m not leaving until you give me an assignment that will truly help you.”
  • To someone emotionally stretched and nearing the breaking point, it might mean a quiet lunch and a listening ear.

Kevin, in the humorous story above, wasn’t willing to be the selfless one ~ to act like Jesus. We’ve all heard the many Continue reading

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